all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
