Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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