Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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