The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
