i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We were destined to go to rehab together
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
