just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
