Define "chronic" masturbator.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
