Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
