making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize