Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
