so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
