I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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