It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
