You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
