I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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