Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
bring money and cleavage
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
