I think I died a long time ago.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
