Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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