Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Who died my cat blue again?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
