i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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