If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
