first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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