god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
