Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
how can u be prego again
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Randomize
