I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
