She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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