just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize