would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Randomize
