im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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