What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
