Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
