normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
