i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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