I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
