I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
