I feel great
I just peed on a car
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
