i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
