This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
