Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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