My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
