He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
