; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
