I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
