I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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