You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
