Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
