Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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