everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
