Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The air was thick with penises
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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