Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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