I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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