we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The adults are the big ones right?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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