sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
