I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
