apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
