is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
