Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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