He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
