yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
