he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
