So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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