I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
