I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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