That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
